Strip Talk #41: You can never have too many Captain America T-shirts

It really began with Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

It was 2014 and my favorite Marvel movie had just been released in theaters when I found a Captain America shield shirt at Old Navy. Old Navy, my first retailer credit card in 2003, has long been my go-to when it comes to pop culture T-shirts, and the Cap shirt – that portrayer and longtime object of my immense affection Christopher Robert Jamal “Mr. Marvel” Evans III has rocked – called out to me. So, I bought one for myself. But, as luck would have it, my purchase was eyed hungrily. My then-boyfriend, Mr. Brandon, thought he should get in on the Cap action as well, because who doesn’t love a cute Captain America shirt when you behave most of the time like a real-life variant of the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan?

So, off we went to acquire another shirt for the boyfriend. For those keeping track, there were now two Cap shirts in the Hicks-Beatty household. And then years pass, and our story takes a turn. We move in together and get engaged in 2015. At some point, after living together for at least three years, we decided we wanted to wear our shirts together for an event and we realized that his shirt is missing. Mine was just fine because I tended to do the laundry and put up my clothes as soon as the load finished. Mr. Brandon did not. It’s one of those things you just come to learn and love about your favorite person, but I digress.

The point is, one of the Cap shirts is missing and we couldn’t find it. We tore up the house looking for it, but we didn’t find it. It’s as if the shirt disappeared off the face of the Earth. My million other Marvel shirts? Cool. They’re accounted for. My TMNT shirt, Mario shirts, Nine Inch Nails, Super Metroid and circa 2004 Linkin Park shirts? Just fine and folded neatly in the usual place. My work shirts that I never wear out in the street? Unwrinkled and ready to wear at a moment’s notice. So, it’s just the Cap shirt and his shirt only, specifically. We gave up at this point. We figured there was no way that shirt was ever going to be found, so we went to Old Navy and bought the same shirt for the third time. And now everyone has a Captain America shirt again and everyone is happy. Right? Right, or maybe not.

So, about two months ago, this ever-cleaning editor/wife took inventory of the shirts in the house and decided to do some Fall cleaning. I instructed Mr. Brandon to clean in his shirt drawers while I worked on mine. I’m sure at this point you can see where this is going. In the middle of cleaning, I hear a yelp and then “Babe, you’re never going to believe what I just found.”

Y’all, it was the long-missing second Cap shirt.

The shirt that had been missing for at least six years was finally located. Apparently, the shirt had fallen out of the back of the drawer and wasn’t visible when Mr. Brandon was cleaning during any of the previous six years of searching.

Color me not shocked but annoyed for several reasons. First, that means we now have three Captain America shirts in the house. There are only two living people here and while I absolutely adore Cap, I don’t need three shirts. And, second, these shenanigans tell me that someone wasn’t looking all that hard when we were tearing up the house trying to find the shirt. I’m annoyed because what exactly were we doing all this time?

And, to add insult to injury, because my husband is my best friend and we share a lot of things, guess who is trying to claim ALL the Cap shirts now? Yes, after losing a shirt and gaining it back, my erstwhile fellow Cap-loving spouse has attempted to commandeer MY Cap shirt as his own, which would give him three Cap shirts. Absolutely not. As the main Cap stan and the resident Marvel doctoral degree holder in this Beatty branch, I will not allow my prized Cap shirt to be stolen from my grasp. I love my husband, but he will never take my Cap shirt. No matter how much he may try, he’s not taking my shield.

Lyndsey Beatty is editor-in-chief of Gaming Insurrection. She can be reached by email at lyndseyb@gaminginsurrection.com

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