Beavis and Butt-Head remain relics of the 1990s
with Lyndsey Beatty
I'm not ashamed to say that I am a child of the '80s. This generally means that I am of an age where MTV still had meaning, and the gossamer web of ignorance was generally intact when it came to questionable entertainment. I was a young buck watching MTV shows daily, and of course I watched Beavis and Butt-Head. Because who didn't watch it if they were 13 or older? Sometimes, however, I regret this folly because of reasons, reasons I shall elaborate for the masses not old enough to understand how TV rots your brain cells and some video game adaptations practically introduce atrophy.

Beavis and Butt-Head are your quintessential doofuses. These were the kids you stayed away from in high school because you knew they didn't wash and were general idiots. And yet, we watched their show. Well, by the time they were mainstream for their obsessive love of Judas Priest, there was a video game that talked about how much they were doofuses. Imagine the goofy show except in video game form but then add the most generic elements possible and weird unresponsive controls. That is Beavis and Butt-Head in a nutshell.

It would take longer than them being a thing in pop culture to explain why the game is among the worst ever created but I have time today. I'm old so I definitely can shake my fist for a minute. The game plays like the worst platformer called in for a sick day, found out it didn't have PTO and then trudged into work anyway despite coughing up its lungs. "I'm fine; it's just allergies." No, it's not just allergies and you are not fine. Take your sick ass home because this is embarrassing. The controls are embarrassing and likely to die when you least need them to do so. Nothing works well, and figuring out how certain mechanics work is like sticking a thermometer in your eye.

The graphics somehow look worse than the already trash show and make fellow garbage nominee South Park 64 look like Tekken 8. The music is even worse; everything sounds like a tinny recreation of the duo's beloved GWAR embarking on a coke-fueled binge and deciding to play Radio City Music Hall naked. It's lower than low. What makes this even worse is the fact that it is actually GWAR. Proudly featured as a bullet point on the back of the game box is a statement that it features the music of GWAR. I wish that I didn't know that they loved GWAR and that this is somehow a selling point for a trash game, but here we are 30 years later musing about our life choices and why we know this about Beavis and Butt-Head.

I want to know who made this and why. I want to know why someone thought the world needed more Beavis and Butt-Head and decided to plague unsuspecting nave gamers with this foolhardy tripe. I want to know who bought it, because that's how they remained viable and how we got a feature film. I want to know who thought this was better than spinoff Daria, which was infinitely cooler in retrospect. At least she made sense and washed. I want to know who thought it would be a great idea to let this loose on the world and why it actually succeeded in snatching money from the pockets of young babes like me through sales and rentals.

Thank goodness for the sense and sensibilities of mortal men with decision-making power who decided Beavis and Butt-Head no longer needed to be a thing. This blight of a tie-in was quite possibly breaking the law.

Lyndsey Beatty is editor-in-chief of Gaming Insurrection. She can be reached by email at lyndseyb@gaminginsurrection.com