Top 5 list: Useless heroes edition

There are heroes out there. They’re good characters who work to keep evil at bay in the universe. However, just because you’re working for the good of man and creature alike, doesn’t mean you’re useful, unfortunately. Here are five that don’t exactly get the job for good done.


Yamcha from Dragonball Z

This Z-fighter hanger-on from Dragon Ball admittedly gave up the heavy-duty work because he realized he wasn’t cutting it on the battlefield and the others in the group (namely Vegeta, Goku, Trunks and Gohan) were much better. But seriously, if you aren’t of the saiyan race in that series, you don’t stand a chance and Yamcha isn’t saiyan. Oh, and when your girlfriend at the time drops you for the vengeful anti-hero because he looks good in armor and pink shirts that say “Bad Man” on the back, you know you have problems.


Lifeline from G.I. Joe

While being a medic and working to save people’s lives is extremely cool and an underappreciated career by the average Joe, Lifeline is not exactly the awesome representative that most medics are. He doesn’t do much except heal a few characters in the background. That’s about it. While we don’t expect him to perform frontline work, he’s a member of G.I. Joe! He should be doing more dangerous work and we don’t mean pulling out Band-Aids sometimes.


Wonder Twins

Because they need both their powers to become their separate forms, they can’t work without being together. A symbiotic relationship that features some of the most useless transformations ever (animal, water), you’d almost be better off going with Aquaman. Almost.



What exactly do these creatures do? We still haven’t figured out how the Smurfs even survive the multiple attempts on their lives without Papa Smurf to lead them around by their noses, and the Snorks have got to be the goofiest group of animated dimwits ever made. We suffered through the Smurfs back in the day (thanks to the greatness that is Jokey Smurf) but the Snorks were utter and complete crap. There, we’ve said it.



Aquaman from DC comics

Most of the adventures involving the superhero who can speak to underwater creatures involve him being on land. We ask the all-important question again: How is he useful?

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