Boogerman picks up award for most stinkiest

Let’s just get this out of the way quickly: Boogerman is one of the most disgusting games I have ever had the unfortunate pleasure of learning about, seeing and playing in my long and illustrious gaming career. There is nothing redeeming about the game in any way, and everything from the graphics down to the soundtrack belie a completely useless and revolting experience that happens to pass for a platformer.

 

That said, when I wasn’t entirely turned off by the environment, Boogerman plays decently. But that’s as far as it goes. The controls, while not terrible, are the only reason why you would even want to sit through the equivalent of a little child’s fascination with defecation, nose picking, toilet humor and farting all rolled into one package.

 

The music is completely unremarkable, the sound effects are disgusting, and everything is either a fart or using their outside voice or belching, LOUDLY. There is nothing quiet about the game and nothing that doesn’t suggest that a child intent on learning about their bodily functions didn’t think up the game scenario and send it in to their parent’s boss at Interplay. The graphics look like someone took about 10 minutes to roughly sketch their thoughts using their terrible ’90s-era cell phone while on the toilet and then thought, “hey let’s make a game out of this.”

 

And even worse, Boogerman is supposed to be the rival of one of the other highly overrated game characters that subscribes to toilet humor: Earthworm Jim. Having read previously in Gaming Insurrection how I feel about Earthworm Jim, you, dear reader, should know I probably rolled my eyes even harder the moment Boogerman hit the scene. And I quickly thought, “This is one of the situations where quality control should have stepped in and stopped things before they got started.”

 

Can someone explain why we have a character actively picking his nose and flinging the resulting mucus at creatures in a dimension called X-Crement? Can someone also explain why the main character — Snotty Ragsdale — thinks it’s a great idea to be a vigilante armed only with his wits and bodily fluids? The purpose of plungers in the game is what? Who greenlit this mess and allowed it to be released for major consoles at the time — the SNES and Sega Genesis — but we couldn’t get a decent port of Mortal Kombat? And the next time someone says, “Well, think of the children! We can’t have them playing violent video games!” I’m going to point to Boogerman as an example of things I’d rather the children not be exposed to, you know, as a matter of good taste and all.

 

I didn’t know whether to be angry that someone released the game on the unsuspecting public in the heady days of 1994 or whether to be sad that someone probably bought this for their child with no warning about what was being passed off as credible entertainment. I knew in 1994 not to be suckered in with this mess, and I know now to not allow this trash to be allowed in my presence, especially now that I have buying power and good sense. This is straight up, undeniable basura and not in the way it hopes to be.

 

Lyndsey Hicks is editor-in-chief of Gaming Insurrection. She can be reached by email at lyndseyh@gaminginsurrection.com