Konami's hybrid of bad ideas, terrible gameplay

You ever play a game, sit through the introduction, and think to yourself, "What the hell am I playing?"

Hybrid Heaven was like that for more than just the intro; it prompted this question throughout the entire game. And, it caused more than just a casual side-eye glance at Konami.

I can appreciate the chances Konami takes with its games from time to time. Like Mystical Ninja, Hybrid Heaven thinks way outside the box. But even a quirky idea gets bogged with the technical from time to time. The mixing ofWithLyndsey Beatty genres is cool, but the execution is lacking. Aiming is terrible, running is terrible, jumping is terrible. Everything about the controls is terrible.

Having to fight to control the main character, Mr. Diaz, is the only fight worth undertaking in the game because the plot is nonsensical. There's something going on about aliens, synthetic robots and cloning, but I never could make it far enough into the game to care. The game overall is super dull, the graphics are absolutely awful, and the plot is dumber than a box of rocks.

I have so many burning questions even 20-plus years later: Why is the voice acting atrocious? Why was there a need for gratuitous body shots of a character in the shower? Why do the environments in the bunker look the same no matter where you go? Why are the character polygons so awful? Was someone under the influence and watching the Matrix and Blade Runner at the same time when they came up with the game's concept?

Why anyone was trying to pass this off as some sort of exciting hype machine in the early 2000s, I don't know. I remember hearing about it and seeing the interesting (and hilarious) commercial and wanting to try it, then wasting a weekend trying to play it and being highly disappointed. What was Konami thinking when they pushed this out the door? It's a terribly mismatched hybrid of ideas, and it doesn't do anything particularly well.

It's bad quirky, not good quirky.


Lyndsey Beatty is editor-in-chief of Gaming Insurrection. She can be reached by email at lyndseyb@gaminginsurrection.com