Top 5 on the Strip: Spider-Man’s weirdest foes

J. Jonah Jameson

What’s the deal with some dude putting your pay­check in your hands and then con­stantly snatch­ing it away because he wants to fire you on a whim? We couldn’t work for J.J. Sim­ply put, there’d be a labor dis­pute, and he’d be sued a mil­lion times over. All because he was hav­ing a bad day.

Mys­te­rio

Spider-Man’s foes, though grounded in real­ity most of the time, some­times give us the dis­tinct impres­sion that there’s prob­lems afoot in the world that we don’t know about and don’t want to know about. Case in point: Mysterio’s head is screwed up, fig­u­ra­tively and lit­er­ally. All we know is that in one ver­sion, he’s a spe­cial effects mas­ter and in another, he’s an android, sent by the spe­cial effects mas­ter, from a dif­fer­ent dimen­sion. Right.

Venom

Eddie Brock’s ver­sion has made our Top 5 list before and for pretty much the same rea­son: He’s weird and awe­some. Any­time you go around scream­ing “We want to eat your brains,” you make a list of weird. And also, refer­ring to your­self in the plural third-person point of view because your body has bonded with an alien sym­biote auto­mat­i­cally means you qual­ify for the crazy.

Doc­tor Octopus

The guy has four ten­ta­cles welded to his back that he can tele­path­i­cally con­trol to kill. That’s all that needs to be said about him.

Green Gob­lin

Dear Nor­man Osborn, We at GI would like to thank you for being suf­fi­ciently crazy and para­noid because you mixed chem­i­cals that gave you a green hue and sent you on a killing spree. We do appre­ci­ate the myr­iad crazy attempts you and your (equally crazed) off­spring have made over the years to kill Peter Parker. But, please, do us a favor and lose the tights the next time you’re res­ur­rected. Sin­cerely, Gam­ing Insur­rec­tion folk

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